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Marie Britt Noble (June 22, 1919 - December 11, 2006)

Dec. 14th, 2006 | 12:03 pm
mood: sadsad

I haven't checked my messages here in a while because things have been turned upside down this week. As most of you know I have been caring for my Grandmother who was ill and Monday afternoon she died. My mother and I have been making arrangements this week so I've been out of touch with everyone. I apologize for being out of touch but life has been very hectic and she and I are handling pretty much everything alone with extremely few resources and it's pretty tough right now. It's amazing how going and dealing with the funeral home, florist, insurance company, tending to her personal belongings and such can be so draining. I feel so exhausted yet I don't rest well when I lie down to sleep. I feel awful that I've been buying take out food the last 3 nights but I just haven't had it in me to cook. My mom is staying with us at our apartment (which I'm glad of) because she doesn't need to be sleeping in the room they shared.. not now anyway, it's just too painful. Janice and Charles have been coming over and eating dinner with us, and I worry about them staying in that house right now. It's just so weird.. That's the house my Grandfather built for my Grandmother and it's never been quiet like that. It always was full of life and noise and to see and hear it that way is really eerie. I feel like I should be a better hostess but right now I'm drained and emotional so I'm just doing what I can do to get us through all this.

For those of you who know me, you know how much my Gran meant to me, and to Taylor-Marie. She wasn't the kind of grandparent who I only saw once a year on the holidays. My mom and brother and I moved in with Gran and Grandaddy when I was 4 and my family structure was that I had my Mom first and and then I had a second mom and dad in my grandparents, right there in the same house. I looked to her for guidance like I would my mother and we spoke and saw each other nearly every single day of my life.

I'd like to be stoic and say we're doing well right now, but we're having a tough go of it.. so any of you who are praying folks please include us when you speak to the Father tonight in your prayers. We knew this was going to happen but it was rather traumatic for it to happen while TM and I were there with her. I've lost my Dad and my Grandfather but I wasn't with them when it happened so this was something I had not experienced this up close.

I'll post more later but this is about all I can manage now.

The wake is tonight at Radney's on Dauphin Street from 5-8pm and then the funeral is at 2pm tomorrow. I'll be there the entire time if any of you decide to stop by.

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AWA time is approaching

Sep. 16th, 2006 | 11:45 am
location: Home
music: Happiness is a Warm Gun - The Beatles

AWA is almost here and I am so excited! I've been getting things ready and saving for a while and now it's almost here. My back is sore as it can be from lifting on Gran, I'm sick with a sinus infection and I had some minor crappy things irritate me some this past week but none of that matters now because the trip is coming up and TM is back from her visit to her grandmother's house and I'm pumped up and ready to head to Atlanta!! Nicole and Beebs and I made a lot of shopping trips getting everything ready for the ball.. getting our dresses, shoes.. jewelry - EVERYTHING! That's gonna be so much fun.. Kinda like the Miso Prom! And then of course the whole con will be a blast! Moose is flying in to Pensacola and then will be riding with us to the con. We're so excited to see him! He's such a funny guy and I know everyone at the club will love him! I was telling Pocky on the phone yesterday that he is like him only much bigger. He also has a way with the laides, like Pocky, if you know what I mean. ;)

Anyway, I have to get some things ready for the club and do some cleaning up around the house. Tonight will be fun at Miso as we are having cosplay night and everyone will be hyped over the trip!

Be there or be square babies! =)

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for what little time we're here

Sep. 14th, 2006 | 10:59 am

Life is pretty stressful right now. As you guys know I am caring for my grandmother who is dying. She has gotten a bit passive and now doesn't fight me so much about feeding and changing her but it's still incredibly hard to see someone you love going through that. It's gotten to the point to where she can hardly stand and makes caring for her very difficult. I've learned a lot of patience though through this experience and my mom and I were talking about it the other day.. she and I were asking why is Gran made to suffer and linger here in pain.. not that we want her to pass.. just that it's life's cruel joke to leave someone in that state of not being able to do anything for themselves and essentially she feels like she is just existing. I hate that for her. I used to get so worked up trying to get her back to the way she was but now I just accept the fact that things are different now and always will be. Even though it hurts me, I have to remember that it's Gran who hurts the most being in that state. So I try to do the things that I know will comfort her and make her the happiest. Her mother died when she was 15 and her father died the following year yet she to this day misses them and talks about them. I am named for her mother and she always said that I look and act like her. Especially in the fact that I am a very hands on person. When she feels bad I stroke her forehead and she says that her mother did too when she was a child. It's amazing how human touch and a smile can make a person feel better and I never knew how much that meant to someone until my grandmother told me recently. I just did it because I remembered that as a child my mother did that for me and it always comforted me. Anyway, there isn't much I can do other than feed, bathe and change her to make her physically comfortable.. that and give her pain medicine.. But talking with her, praying with her and spending time with her seems to give her comfort.. so even though it is hard to see her that way.. I know that I have to put her comfort above my own.

She isn't expected to live a whole lot longer but I want to make the most of what time she does have left. I know she's afraid it could happen soon because when I leave her house she always begs me not to leave her alone because she's afraid to be alone. I've never cared for someone who was dying before. My mom has since she is a Nurse Practitioner. I guess this is part of maturing and dealing with life. I worry that I'll break down if I'm alone with her there when it happens. I worry about it a lot.

So anyway.. I know that many of you are praying for her. Josh especially has been vigilant with that and I appreciate it a lot.

If I seem a little down or sensitive lately then hopefully you guys know why. I'm just pretty sad all around with seeing her that way every single day.

I do want to say thanks to all of you who have been encouraging me though. That means a lot to me and does help.

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"..life is hard enough when you belong here.."

Sep. 13th, 2006 | 09:27 am
location: Home
mood: disappointeddisappointed

I was watching the news this morning and people on the street were commenting about how immigrants should leave and that they basically contribute nothing to this country.


My husband is the son of Peruvian immigrants and I am the granddaughter of Irish immigrants (and Jewish on my mom's side). Not to mention everyone who ever came here is one too. Jeez... This country was built on that very ideal. I agree there should be better policies and regulations but to stand on national TV and say that we should build a wall to keep everyone out.. Unreal..

Hitler, anyone?

/shakes head

and the saddest part is.. someone shocked me by saying some things (in person) to Mo about this and seemed to actually want him to agree..

..I've really had it with the insensitivity.. I try to be mindful of people's feeling even if I don't share their their views but it's amazing the nerve of some people. If ya wanna bash immigrants, this "Mick" and her "Spic" husband ain't interested!! =P

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back with a real update later, in the meantime:

Aug. 22nd, 2006 | 08:58 am
location: Home
mood: congested
music: Death Cab for Cutie - Crooked Teeth

Your Taste in Music:

80's Alternative: Highest Influence
90's Alternative: High Influence
Punk: High Influence
80's Pop: Medium Influence
Adult Alternative: Medium Influence

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okay so I take these from time to time...

Aug. 4th, 2006 | 12:27 pm

You Belong in Greenwich Village

Avant garde and bohemian, you're quick to adopt new ideas and lifestyles.
And while you're a bit less weird these days, you still have a "live and let live" philosophy.
Your Geek Profile:

Music Geekiness: Highest
Gamer Geekiness: High
Movie Geekiness: High
Fashion Geekiness: Moderate
Internet Geekiness: Moderate
Academic Geekiness: Low
Geekiness in Love: Low
SciFi Geekiness: Low
General Geekiness: None

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My birthday...

Aug. 3rd, 2006 | 10:12 am
location: Home
mood: chipperchipper
music: Nature Boy - David Bowie & Massive Attack- Moulin Rouge OST

A big group of us went out to dinner at Carrabba's for my birthday. Mauricio, Bebe, Robby, Nicole, Pocky, Taka, Cameron, Melissa, Jonathan, Matt Sweeney, James, Russ, Tiffany, Matt and Joey Rudnick, Heather, Maccles, Lenard, Quentin, Bonnie, Alan and Jennifer all invaded the restauraunt and amazingly the staff didn't freak out. They actually said that we were a delightfully easy group to serve. (If they could only have seen us at IHOP after bowling that last time!) Anyway, I was a little worried about what I could have to eat considering that really nothing at Carrabba's fits in with the Weight Watcher's plan but I figured, what the hell? It is my birthday after all. I did maintain some level of control though, because instead of the usually large plate of Fettucine Alfredo (which I love, but is LOADED with fat and calories) I opted for grilled chicken with just a small side of the same pasta. I was actually quite happy with my selection and the food was really good, as usual. Carrabba's is my favorite place for Italian food. It tastes so much fresher than Olive Garden. Anyway, we all had a great time laughing and talking and eating.. After we finished our dinner, the staff came out with my birthday cake. Beebs and Mauricio had ordered a half sheet chocolate cake with a gorgeous manga picture from Sailormoon that Beebs customized for me on Photoshop. It had Usagi in her many forms of Princess Serenity with Mamo-chan and it was absolutely GORGEOUS!! When they brought it out with all the candles lit it glowed and looked so nice! (Mauricio forgot to tell them not to use both full packs of candles so instead of 32 they used all 48 - 12 per pack - and I almost thought I wouldn't be able to blow them all out. The manager came out with a fire extinguisher and said "here, I thought you may need this!" XD I blew out the candles and then cut the cake. I received many thoughtful gifts. Everything I got came from someone who seemed to know exactly what I wanted... well all except James.. he gave me a Yankees cap.. which I think was a poke at Mauricio Mets fandom. Anyway, just having everyone there was a lot of fun.

So this is what I got:

Mauricio gave me The Nanny seasons 1 & 2 DVD boxsets!! Mezzo DSA DVD 3, Gunslinger Girl DVD 3, Aquarian Age DVD 3
...been wanting the Nanny on DVD forever! I'm SO glad to have this! I absolutely LOVE that show! And it's much funnier now that I've actually been to Queens.. four times.. ^_^ and he completed 3 anime series for me! Thank you so much babe!! You know me so well! Not to mention he has cooked and waited on me hand and foot all week! I'm so lucky!

Beebs gave me a professional salon grade curling iron, a Cure Documentary DVD, both Moulin Rouge Soundtrack CDs
...definitely needed the curling iron after that mishap last Saturday when the curling brush got caught in my hair.. LOVE MR but the CDs had gone missing so very glad to have that back and of course I LOVE the Cure! You picked all things I love.. and I love you my little chibi! <3 You're the best!

Robby and Beebs gave me Will and Grace season 1 on DVD
...This show is hilarious!! I love W&G but I especially love Jack and Karen!! Thanks guys! You gotta watch some with me! Robby and his stealth shopping skills...you're so sweet! thank you!

Nicole and Pocky gave me ROD TV DVD 5 with limited edition pencil board, and the Speed Grapher Artbox plus DVD 1
..Been working on finishing ROD for a while but its hard to find the ones with the pencil boards. Yay! Another one down only 2 more to go! And Speed Grapher.. OMG, the box is so SWEET!! Totally didn't see that one coming. What a great surprise! Arigato gozaimasu!! ^_^

Russ gave me a rare Fushigi Yuugi scroll with the Suzaku group and Miaka dressed like Xena. ..Okay, you just can't go wrong with that combo and me.. I love Xena and Miaka so her dressed like that is a keeper! That went up on the wall as soon as we got home! Thanks Russ!

Cameron and Melissa gave me Smashing Pumpkins double CD, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness... I love this band but have lost some of my CDs over the years.. I'm ready to break this one back in! Thanks guys!

Matt and Joey gave me a $40 giftcard to Best Buy which I plan to make good use of tomorrow (rubs hands together) ^_^ Thank you so much!! I plan to get some anime with this!

Jennifer gave me a gift certificate good for an hour of massage. I need that badly, especially with my back hurting lately. Domo!
And what's this? A strapping young lad? Laughing

Mac gave me 2 custom synth CDs of which I plan to listen to this week. I'm sure I'll be addicted shortly. He always listens to the best music! Thanks Mac!

All in all it was a fabulous party! After we left the restaraunt we went back to our apartment and a bunch of us hung out and talked. Some of the guys played Mario Kart but Nicole and I sat and looked at and opened my DVD boxsets and stuff. I had a lot of fun and it was definitely a birthday to remember. So much so that I almost didn't obsess too much over turning 32. I still feel like I'm in my twenties so I guess that's all that matters, right?

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World of Warcraft

Jul. 31st, 2006 | 08:15 pm
location: Home
mood: chipperchipper
music: Watching Hell's Kitchen

Okay everybody says this is like crack.. and it does look fun. I got my character made. She's a bit ugly but then she is an undead warrior.. so I guess looks aren't the important thing. Kinda has that Xena outfit thing going on.. but Lucy Lawless was hot!

Melgane: Ugly Undead Warrior Princess XD

Alrighty so that's my first character. Her name is Melgane. Anybody here got any tips for a n00b?

Thanks again to Robby for hooking me up!

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Jul. 31st, 2006 | 06:58 pm

Your Vampire Name Is...

Lenore of the Orient

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Another Monday, another 5 pounds of Emily vanishes!

Jul. 31st, 2006 | 10:08 am
location: Home
mood: accomplishedaccomplished
music: Where Eagles Dare - The Misfits

OMG!!!! I can't believe it! I just got back from Weight Watchers and I lost 5 pounds this past week!! I am so stoked! I admit I was a bit disappointed last weigh in because I lost 3 pounds and had wanted it to be more. What's weird is that it had seemed like I had worked out and concentrated harder on losing weight last week but I lost more this week. I think a couple of things contributed to losing less last week. I ate more of the pre-packaged WW meals last week rather than just steamed veggies and broiled fish. I mean, don't get me wrong.. you lose using the WW meals and they're great, but if you want intense and fairly rapid (while being safe) weight loss you gotta keep it to a bare minimum on the fat, sugar and starch. I never realized before how much the extra sugar and starch were contributing to my weight problem. Well, after today's weigh-in, I have cumulatively lost 12 1/2 pounds in three week's time! I was really amazed. There was one lady at the meeting today who said that she had lost 29 pounds and that it had taken her nearly 4 months. At the rate Mauricio and I are going we'll be to that in about another month's time! Mauricio lost 4 1/2 pounds today and since he lost a half pound more than me before it actually evens out.. we have both lost 12 1/2 pounds each. It's weird how one lost more than the other on one week or vice versa. Anyway, I'm just really damn proud! Last week had been a bummer (mostly because I was placing unneeded stress on myself to lose quickly) but this week's weigh in has me bouncing off the walls!! I walked in with no expectations other than losing 1 or 2 pounds and was really shocked when I saw that it was 5!!

I think the main thing I learned from last week was to eat only a few WW meals a week and not rely on them for lunches and dinner. They're not bad, not bad at all but they have more starch than eating the fish, chicken, veggies and tuna so I have to regulate them. Also I had to stop obsessing over how much I was losing and just let it happen naturally. I have to stop thinking only of the end result I want and pace myself for the milestones along the way.

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