Shin Jin Ten Chi Sho

I haven't checked my messages here in a while because things have been turned upside down this week. As most of you know I have been caring for my Grandmother who was ill and Monday afternoon she died. My mother and I have been making arrangements this week so I've been out of touch with everyone. I apologize for being out of touch but life has been very hectic and she and I are handling pretty much everything alone with extremely few resources and it's pretty tough right now. It's amazing how going and dealing with the funeral home, florist, insurance company, tending to her personal belongings and such can be so draining. I feel so exhausted yet I don't rest well when I lie down to sleep. I feel awful that I've been buying take out food the last 3 nights but I just haven't had it in me to cook. My mom is staying with us at our apartment (which I'm glad of) because she doesn't need to be sleeping in the room they shared.. not now anyway, it's just too painful. Janice and Charles have been coming over and eating dinner with us, and I worry about them staying in that house right now. It's just so weird.. That's the house my Grandfather built for my Grandmother and it's never been quiet like that. It always was full of life and noise and to see and hear it that way is really eerie. I feel like I should be a better hostess but right now I'm drained and emotional so I'm just doing what I can do to get us through all this.

For those of you who know me, you know how much my Gran meant to me, and to Taylor-Marie. She wasn't the kind of grandparent who I only saw once a year on the holidays. My mom and brother and I moved in with Gran and Grandaddy when I was 4 and my family structure was that I had my Mom first and and then I had a second mom and dad in my grandparents, right there in the same house. I looked to her for guidance like I would my mother and we spoke and saw each other nearly every single day of my life.

I'd like to be stoic and say we're doing well right now, but we're having a tough go of it.. so any of you who are praying folks please include us when you speak to the Father tonight in your prayers. We knew this was going to happen but it was rather traumatic for it to happen while TM and I were there with her. I've lost my Dad and my Grandfather but I wasn't with them when it happened so this was something I had not experienced this up close.

I'll post more later but this is about all I can manage now.

The wake is tonight at Radney's on Dauphin Street from 5-8pm and then the funeral is at 2pm tomorrow. I'll be there the entire time if any of you decide to stop by.

AWA is almost here and I am so excited! I've been getting things ready and saving for a while and now it's almost here. My back is sore as it can be from lifting on Gran, I'm sick with a sinus infection and I had some minor crappy things irritate me some this past week but none of that matters now because the trip is coming up and TM is back from her visit to her grandmother's house and I'm pumped up and ready to head to Atlanta!! Nicole and Beebs and I made a lot of shopping trips getting everything ready for the ball.. getting our dresses, shoes.. jewelry - EVERYTHING! That's gonna be so much fun.. Kinda like the Miso Prom! And then of course the whole con will be a blast! Moose is flying in to Pensacola and then will be riding with us to the con. We're so excited to see him! He's such a funny guy and I know everyone at the club will love him! I was telling Pocky on the phone yesterday that he is like him only much bigger. He also has a way with the laides, like Pocky, if you know what I mean. ;)

Anyway, I have to get some things ready for the club and do some cleaning up around the house. Tonight will be fun at Miso as we are having cosplay night and everyone will be hyped over the trip!

Be there or be square babies! =)

Life is pretty stressful right now. As you guys know I am caring for my grandmother who is dying. She has gotten a bit passive and now doesn't fight me so much about feeding and changing her but it's still incredibly hard to see someone you love going through that. It's gotten to the point to where she can hardly stand and makes caring for her very difficult. I've learned a lot of patience though through this experience and my mom and I were talking about it the other day.. she and I were asking why is Gran made to suffer and linger here in pain.. not that we want her to pass.. just that it's life's cruel joke to leave someone in that state of not being able to do anything for themselves and essentially she feels like she is just existing. I hate that for her. I used to get so worked up trying to get her back to the way she was but now I just accept the fact that things are different now and always will be. Even though it hurts me, I have to remember that it's Gran who hurts the most being in that state. So I try to do the things that I know will comfort her and make her the happiest. Her mother died when she was 15 and her father died the following year yet she to this day misses them and talks about them. I am named for her mother and she always said that I look and act like her. Especially in the fact that I am a very hands on person. When she feels bad I stroke her forehead and she says that her mother did too when she was a child. It's amazing how human touch and a smile can make a person feel better and I never knew how much that meant to someone until my grandmother told me recently. I just did it because I remembered that as a child my mother did that for me and it always comforted me. Anyway, there isn't much I can do other than feed, bathe and change her to make her physically comfortable.. that and give her pain medicine.. But talking with her, praying with her and spending time with her seems to give her comfort.. so even though it is hard to see her that way.. I know that I have to put her comfort above my own.

She isn't expected to live a whole lot longer but I want to make the most of what time she does have left. I know she's afraid it could happen soon because when I leave her house she always begs me not to leave her alone because she's afraid to be alone. I've never cared for someone who was dying before. My mom has since she is a Nurse Practitioner. I guess this is part of maturing and dealing with life. I worry that I'll break down if I'm alone with her there when it happens. I worry about it a lot.

So anyway.. I know that many of you are praying for her. Josh especially has been vigilant with that and I appreciate it a lot.

If I seem a little down or sensitive lately then hopefully you guys know why. I'm just pretty sad all around with seeing her that way every single day.

I do want to say thanks to all of you who have been encouraging me though. That means a lot to me and does help.

I was watching the news this morning and people on the street were commenting about how immigrants should leave and that they basically contribute nothing to this country.

O_O

My husband is the son of Peruvian immigrants and I am the granddaughter of Irish immigrants (and Jewish on my mom's side). Not to mention everyone who ever came here is one too. Jeez... This country was built on that very ideal. I agree there should be better policies and regulations but to stand on national TV and say that we should build a wall to keep everyone out.. Unreal..

Hitler, anyone?

/shakes head

and the saddest part is.. someone shocked me by saying some things (in person) to Mo about this and seemed to actually want him to agree..

..I've really had it with the insensitivity.. I try to be mindful of people's feeling even if I don't share their their views but it's amazing the nerve of some people. If ya wanna bash immigrants, this "Mick" and her "Spic" husband ain't interested!! =P

A big group of us went out to dinner at Carrabba's for my birthday. Mauricio, Bebe, Robby, Nicole, Pocky, Taka, Cameron, Melissa, Jonathan, Matt Sweeney, James, Russ, Tiffany, Matt and Joey Rudnick, Heather, Maccles, Lenard, Quentin, Bonnie, Alan and Jennifer all invaded the restauraunt and amazingly the staff didn't freak out. They actually said that we were a delightfully easy group to serve. (If they could only have seen us at IHOP after bowling that last time!) Anyway, I was a little worried about what I could have to eat considering that really nothing at Carrabba's fits in with the Weight Watcher's plan but I figured, what the hell? It is my birthday after all. I did maintain some level of control though, because instead of the usually large plate of Fettucine Alfredo (which I love, but is LOADED with fat and calories) I opted for grilled chicken with just a small side of the same pasta. I was actually quite happy with my selection and the food was really good, as usual. Carrabba's is my favorite place for Italian food. It tastes so much fresher than Olive Garden. Anyway, we all had a great time laughing and talking and eating.. After we finished our dinner, the staff came out with my birthday cake. Beebs and Mauricio had ordered a half sheet chocolate cake with a gorgeous manga picture from Sailormoon that Beebs customized for me on Photoshop. It had Usagi in her many forms of Princess Serenity with Mamo-chan and it was absolutely GORGEOUS!! When they brought it out with all the candles lit it glowed and looked so nice! (Mauricio forgot to tell them not to use both full packs of candles so instead of 32 they used all 48 - 12 per pack - and I almost thought I wouldn't be able to blow them all out. The manager came out with a fire extinguisher and said "here, I thought you may need this!" XD I blew out the candles and then cut the cake. I received many thoughtful gifts. Everything I got came from someone who seemed to know exactly what I wanted... well all except James.. he gave me a Yankees cap.. which I think was a poke at Mauricio Mets fandom. Anyway, just having everyone there was a lot of fun.

So this is what I got:

Mauricio gave me The Nanny seasons 1 & 2 DVD boxsets!! Mezzo DSA DVD 3, Gunslinger Girl DVD 3, Aquarian Age DVD 3
...been wanting the Nanny on DVD forever! I'm SO glad to have this! I absolutely LOVE that show! And it's much funnier now that I've actually been to Queens.. four times.. ^_^ and he completed 3 anime series for me! Thank you so much babe!! You know me so well! Not to mention he has cooked and waited on me hand and foot all week! I'm so lucky!

Beebs gave me a professional salon grade curling iron, a Cure Documentary DVD, both Moulin Rouge Soundtrack CDs
...definitely needed the curling iron after that mishap last Saturday when the curling brush got caught in my hair.. LOVE MR but the CDs had gone missing so very glad to have that back and of course I LOVE the Cure! You picked all things I love.. and I love you my little chibi! <3 You're the best!

Robby and Beebs gave me Will and Grace season 1 on DVD
...This show is hilarious!! I love W&G but I especially love Jack and Karen!! Thanks guys! You gotta watch some with me! Robby and his stealth shopping skills...you're so sweet! thank you!

Nicole and Pocky gave me ROD TV DVD 5 with limited edition pencil board, and the Speed Grapher Artbox plus DVD 1
..Been working on finishing ROD for a while but its hard to find the ones with the pencil boards. Yay! Another one down only 2 more to go! And Speed Grapher.. OMG, the box is so SWEET!! Totally didn't see that one coming. What a great surprise! Arigato gozaimasu!! ^_^

Russ gave me a rare Fushigi Yuugi scroll with the Suzaku group and Miaka dressed like Xena. ..Okay, you just can't go wrong with that combo and me.. I love Xena and Miaka so her dressed like that is a keeper! That went up on the wall as soon as we got home! Thanks Russ!

Cameron and Melissa gave me Smashing Pumpkins double CD, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness... I love this band but have lost some of my CDs over the years.. I'm ready to break this one back in! Thanks guys!

Matt and Joey gave me a $40 giftcard to Best Buy which I plan to make good use of tomorrow (rubs hands together) ^_^ Thank you so much!! I plan to get some anime with this!

Jennifer gave me a gift certificate good for an hour of massage. I need that badly, especially with my back hurting lately. Domo!
And what's this? A strapping young lad? Laughing

Mac gave me 2 custom synth CDs of which I plan to listen to this week. I'm sure I'll be addicted shortly. He always listens to the best music! Thanks Mac!

All in all it was a fabulous party! After we left the restaraunt we went back to our apartment and a bunch of us hung out and talked. Some of the guys played Mario Kart but Nicole and I sat and looked at and opened my DVD boxsets and stuff. I had a lot of fun and it was definitely a birthday to remember. So much so that I almost didn't obsess too much over turning 32. I still feel like I'm in my twenties so I guess that's all that matters, right?

Okay everybody says this is like crack.. and it does look fun. I got my character made. She's a bit ugly but then she is an undead warrior.. so I guess looks aren't the important thing. Kinda has that Xena outfit thing going on.. but Lucy Lawless was hot!



Alrighty so that's my first character. Her name is Melgane. Anybody here got any tips for a n00b?

Thanks again to Robby for hooking me up!

OMG!!!! I can't believe it! I just got back from Weight Watchers and I lost 5 pounds this past week!! I am so stoked! I admit I was a bit disappointed last weigh in because I lost 3 pounds and had wanted it to be more. What's weird is that it had seemed like I had worked out and concentrated harder on losing weight last week but I lost more this week. I think a couple of things contributed to losing less last week. I ate more of the pre-packaged WW meals last week rather than just steamed veggies and broiled fish. I mean, don't get me wrong.. you lose using the WW meals and they're great, but if you want intense and fairly rapid (while being safe) weight loss you gotta keep it to a bare minimum on the fat, sugar and starch. I never realized before how much the extra sugar and starch were contributing to my weight problem. Well, after today's weigh-in, I have cumulatively lost 12 1/2 pounds in three week's time! I was really amazed. There was one lady at the meeting today who said that she had lost 29 pounds and that it had taken her nearly 4 months. At the rate Mauricio and I are going we'll be to that in about another month's time! Mauricio lost 4 1/2 pounds today and since he lost a half pound more than me before it actually evens out.. we have both lost 12 1/2 pounds each. It's weird how one lost more than the other on one week or vice versa. Anyway, I'm just really damn proud! Last week had been a bummer (mostly because I was placing unneeded stress on myself to lose quickly) but this week's weigh in has me bouncing off the walls!! I walked in with no expectations other than losing 1 or 2 pounds and was really shocked when I saw that it was 5!!

I think the main thing I learned from last week was to eat only a few WW meals a week and not rely on them for lunches and dinner. They're not bad, not bad at all but they have more starch than eating the fish, chicken, veggies and tuna so I have to regulate them. Also I had to stop obsessing over how much I was losing and just let it happen naturally. I have to stop thinking only of the end result I want and pace myself for the milestones along the way.

I was REALLY anxious to weigh in today. I figured since I had been working out doing 2 miles a day instead of just the 1 mile a day from the first week that I would really have lost a lot. I had lost 4 1/2 pounds the first week so I was expecting at least 5 or 6 this week. I was surprised and a little disappointed when I got on the scales only to find that I had lost 2 pounds less than the week before. I tried to smile but I felt kinda pouty. I worked my butt off!! Where were my 5 or more pounds that were supposed to be gone!? Well I stepped down off the scale and let Mauricio weigh in. He lost 3 1/2 pounds so he's a little ahead of me. It turns out that our regular instructor was out because of surgery. That was a bummer and the substitute lady was pretty bad. All she did was crack corny jokes about being fat and then yakked on and on about how addicted she is to coconut cake. @_@ She was stinky (nit literally but in the way of teaching) and offered no motivational advice or tips the way Sharon did. She didn't even go around the room and clap for those of us who lost weight like she was supposed to. She did give out the little bookmark thing that said "I lost five pounds" to Mauricio and one other person. But she didn't even acknowledge the rest of us. Personally I think she just wanted to get it done and get out of there. She looked uncomfortable. The other members had a weird look on their faces too, especially when she advised people not to miss breakfast and to eat a banana or toast for it! WTF! That is STRICTLY off linits while you're trying to lose weight. If you're maintaining your weight like she is, you can do that but not while you're losing. So the meeting was a bummer but when I left there Mauricio and Beebs cheered me up about everything. They reminded me (as did my Mom) that 2-3 pounds a week is normal and healthy weight loss and that I am fine. Also, I have been told it will fluctuate from time to time.. especially since I have been working out now and building some muscle.. so while I am burning fat I am also building muscle which will weigh in too.

Okay guys. Well at least two people have expressed the desire to do what Mauricio and I are doing to lose weight but I don't think either one can really afford the time or money to go to the meetings. I'm posting it on my LJ so if they or anyone is interested it can be of some help. This gives you a good guide to follow and it's not as hard as you might think. Here is our daily routine. This isn't all you can have, but this is what Mo and I have been doing and lost 4 1/2 pounds each in just our first 7 days on the plan.

Breakfast: 1 Edge Drink



Make sure you put these in the fridge and get them really cold. I was skeptical at first that this would be enough to keep me going without feeling hungry but they really do. After you finish it you do feel full. They are much more satisfying than a Slim-Fast ever was. You can buy these at Wal-mart for $4.97 for 4 or at Sam's Club for $27.00 for a big case of 24 drinks. They're 11 ounces of sugar free protein chocolate drink and a wonderful breakfast. Buy some straws too though since they don't come with any. (haven't figured that one out yet.)


Mid morning: 1 piece of fruit - either an apple, a pear, or a kiwi fruit.

For now, avoid melon, berries, peaches and bananas as they are very high in sugar. The thicker the skin, the higher the sugar content. Sugar not burned turns into fat. Luckily, apples have a fiber that no other fruit has that can break down and balance out that sugar content so it doesn't become stored fat on your body. You will be able to go back to eating these, but to lose weight right now they shouldn't be the first fruit you reach for.

Water:
You need to drink water every day. We've all heard the advice: "Drink eight 8 oz glasses of water a day". Yeah.. I've tried that. It's too hard to remember all 8 glasses. I find the easiest way for me to get my 64 oz a day. I buy bottled water in 16.9 oz bottles. I've been getting Dasani but bottled water is pretty much all the same so whatever is cheapest and on sale works for me. I've been drinking 4 16.9 oz bottles a day which more than covers my 64 oz a day requirement. That way I only have to remember 4 bottles (glasses) a day and not 8. Much easier. AND, if you don't fancy the taste of water, which I didn't at first.. there is an easy way to get it down. Head to Bruno's and go to the spice aisle. There is a product called "True Lemon". It's pure lemon powder with no sugar. It costs around $3 but is worth every penny. Add a touch of it to your water bottle and shake for lemon flavoring. Also, if that still doesn't do it for you, you can add a packet or 2 of Splenda and make lemonade with your water. As long as you don't add sugar or caffeine to this it still counts as your water for the day. (And here's a tip too, Wal-mart now has a generic of Spenda called Altern and it's about $1-$1.30 cheaper per package than the name brand. Tastes exactly the same.)

Lunch: WW meal or alternative
By this time of the day I'm not even feeling hungry much since I have had a good protein breakfast, a snack (my fruit) and some water. But as lunch time approaches I don't worry anymore about what food decision to make since I do have some options that actually do taste good. I can have tuna fish with a tablespoon or so of real mayo mixed in. I can have a baked chicken breast (I always cook some extra from the night before for lunch the next day). I can also chop the chicken breast up and make chicken salad like with the tuna using a little mayo. (and it's perfectly fine using real mayo just go easy on it and keep it under 2 tablespoons.) Or, if that's too much trouble for me and I don't want any of that I can eat any of the frozen Weight Watchers meals. They're all between $1.72 - $2.42 and taste amazingly good for "diet" food. The enchiladas with cheese sauce are great! And the chicken carbonara is too! I usually will eat on of those and a side salad of lettuce and a very small portion of tomatoes. (Tomatoes are a fruit and contain sugar so I go easy on them.) Of course you can add as much broccoli, cauliflower, cucumber, radish, celery, carrot, pickle as you want since these are all "free" foods. Fat free salad dressing or a moderate serving of regular dressing is fine. Take your time eating and you will feel fuller. Don't forget the water too!

Mid afternoon snack: 1 Edge Bar



Okay, these are really good! If you've ever eaten nutrition bars then you know that some taste like charcoal coated rubber cement (or at least what I think that would taste like never having eaten that ^_^ ). Anyway, these are pretty damned tasty! We've been eating the Chocolate Chip Brownie ones since they are the only ones I've been able to find in a whole box. You can buy the Chocolate Cream Pie flavor at CVS individually but they are a little more expensive when you buy them like that. Sam's Club has a 12 pack for $14.44 and CVS sells the single ones for $1.35, I think. Don't quote me on the CVS price.. I can't quite remember. I have one of these for my afternoon snack because by now I'm getting a bit peckish and want something for my sweet tooth. It's filling and will definitely hold you over til dinner. Also, I drink water with this because it's quite rich and it helps to fill me up and curb hunger.

Dinner: Baked or broiled fish or poultry with steamed vegetables
optional 1/2 cup of starch (rice, noodles or potatoes)
WW dessert

For dinner I usually bake some chicken breast (skinless) or some fish. Tilapia is the tastiest, leanest and least offensive (no gross over-powering fishy smell/taste) I've found. Tilapia fillets are VERY low in fat and calories. You can eat 2 of them with no guilt. I season ours with Tony Cachares Cajun seasoning and I spray them with Parkay spray. It has no fat and is your best friend when cooking low fat. I chop vegetables: broccoli, onion, squash, zucchini and whatever I like and sautee with in a skillet with a teaspoon or 2 of olive oil. You can sprinkle some salt, pepper, minced garlic, cajun seasoning or whatever to add flavor. Just don't add butter or regular oil. Everything in moderation. If you do choose to eat starches keep them to once in a while and only a half cup when you do. Tip: when you eat starches drink water with them. The water will make them swell in your stomach and cause you to feel full faster and you won't need to eat as much of them to be satisfied. Also, don't keep eating just to taste. I know sometimes things are so good you eat to keep tasting but that's what adds the pounds on. For dessert, WW makes some AWESOME stuff! The best I've had so far is the double chocolate cake! It looks small at first and you think "no way is this gonna be enough!" but it is. No cooking required. You just take them out of the freezer about 15-20 minutes before you want to eat them and let them defrost. They are mini chocolate cakes with gooey icing. They taste so good you feel like you're cheating. Afterwards, you don't feel deprived.

The only other thing to our daily routine is our workout. You don't have to do it every day but you should do some physical activity to get your heart rate up for at least 30 minutes daily if you're serious about dropping weight and seeing the results soon. A minimum of 3 times a week at the very least is recommended. You can take a walk, ride a bike, go to the gym. None of those worked for me because I'm soft and can't take this heat and hate the gym. So, I found a great solution! Walk Away the Pounds is a fabulous DVD and is the best $19.00 I ever spend towards losing weight. Go to Wal-mart and get the first one in the series. Don't kill yourself trying the 2 or 3 mile workouts right away. Just start with the 1 mile and work your way up. That's what Mauricio and I are doing. It's very rewarding every time you finish it and your body will start to feel better within the first week! You'll probably be sore after the first couple or workouts but it will pay off. And this is coming from someone with a bad back who used to get winded climbing the stairs! I look forward to this workout every day and I have always HATED exercise. The first week we did it in the morning only and this week we do it morning and night most every day, except on Fridays and Saturdays because of Miso shows. It really has made a HUGE difference.

These are not the only foods or workouts you can do but it's what we're doing right now and we are seeing results. Just on the first week working out every other day and eating that way we lost almost 5 pounds each in only one week! Tomorrow we go to be weighed and I am hoping for even more weight loss since we doubled our routine with the walking. On the eating, you can still eat some pork and red meat, just trim the fat and keep it small portions. Ohh! Since red meat takes so long to filter out of your system you should eat it the evening of your weigh in otherwise it will add to your weight in the scale. Don't eat or fill up on water before weighing either since that will show up on the scale too. It's best to weigh in the morning and before any meals. Also, if there is something you really want, don't deprive yourself or you'll just wreck your diet and end up binging on it later. Eat about half or less if possible of what you normally would have of that food.. and then go counter it by walking or drinking some water. It really does make a HUGE difference in your body and self esteem!

It may seem difficult at first but it really all depends on how bad you want it. And I want it bad! I want to be healthy and fit and look good in a bikini and by damn I'm going to do it!!

Thank God.. Today was very long and tedious. Gran has a UTI and as such has a lot of confusion and Altered Mental Status. Even though I know she can't help it, it made today very long. She kept talking to people who weren't there. After a while you have to find some humor in some of these things just to keep your sanity.. TM and I were puzzled by many of the things she said and finally decided that since she was maybe drifting in and out of sleep perhaps she thought we were part of the dream. At one point she was asking Bebe about the nicotine content of cigars and something about a boat. We never did figure that one out. Then she said "You girls must think I"m crazy".. we kinda giggled and for a few minutes she was a little coherent and laughed about it too. It goes back and forth like that. You just never know what it will be like. At least I have learned to take a new tact with her and have been able to persuade her to eat (even though it's like pulling teeth) and to take her medicine. Hopefully if she can get some meds started we can get this infection under control and she'll be less confused. It did make for an interesting day to say the least.

Tonight I was too beat to cook so we ate some Weight Watchers microwaveable dinners. I can't believe how good they taste! Most frozen food IMO sucks but this was really tasty. Of course it depends on what kind you get but I've only had one that I didn't like and that was the pot roast one which I won't buy again. Anyway, we ate those and we had some WW ice cream cookie sandwich things that were only 2 points and they were awesome! Everything was so good that I felt like I had cheated on my points for the day but I hadn't since it was all Weight Watchers stuff. We are doing the Walk Away the Pounds 1 mile workout twice a day now (morning and night) and I'm drinking 64 to 70 ounces of water a day. It sounds like a lot but when you drink 4 Dasani bottled waters which are 16 ounces each and the occasional 20 oz. bottle of water it's easy. I really don't like water that much normally but when it's really cold I can. I'm feeling so much better these days and always feel great after we work out. I just want to see the results. I know that will take some time. I just keep thinking about how much I want to look and feel better and how it would be cool to be able to be thin and lean so I could cosplay all these characters who are thin. I keep that picture in my mind whenever I feel tempted to eat something I shouldn't. Although, with the WW food it hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought it would be. Also, knowing that Mauricio and I are doing this together, logging what we eat every day in our journals and weighing every week at the meetings it gives me the incentive to stay on track. I can't wait to actually see it though.

Off to do my workout and then I'm off to bed!

Not too much time to post but we're going to see the midnight showing of Pirates of the Caribbean tonight with the kids and Nicole and Pocky... should be fun! The first one was great so I know this one will be too! Other than that not too much is up right now....

.....except for the fact that I have made the decision to go back to school and I am excited about it. i just hope I can afford it. I've decided to go into Radiology.. specifically Ultrasound. It's a 2 year certificate program and when I get out and start working I can expect to make about $40-$50,000 per year to start.. or so I've been told. So, I'm excited at the prospect of doing something that I think I would like and making good money at it. Plus it will have stability and security. I just hope I can still get financial aid...

I'll update when I find out something more solid.. but for now..

PIRATES!!!!

XD

This week has been a bit quick. Which I guess is a good thing. More and more I look forward to the weekends. More than ever now. Hmm.. well, the day went a lot better with Gran which was good. I just have to be REALLY patient with her. It was a relief to have it go so well.

I'm at the Docking Station again.. Was at the library but they have so many sites filtered you can't really do much of anything. It's funny, I'm checking and updating this thing more than I ever did when I had my own PC working at home. I guess since I'm cut off from doing anything like editing or downloading. All there is to do is check messages and surf.

God, there are these bouncing kids across from me playing on the Cartoon Network website driving me frickin' crazy!

Well things are going alright I suppose. Just a little ancy to get things in gear for this weekend but it should go alright. Also Mauricio and I are joining Weight Watchers this coming week and are really trying to do better with our health. Occassionally you will see us eating something "bad" while out but overall on a daily basis I know we're doing better. I'm pretty excited to go to the WW meeting. I usually hate that kind of environment but it actually can be good when you have others to relate to who are going through the same thing. Also, knowing that they will be weighing us every week is incentive not to fall off the wagon. They have classes on a few days each week but none on Friday and Saturday won't work for us so the next one will be on Monday that we can go to. I think it's hilarious that the location we're going to is right next door to a Baskin Robbins! That's kinda sick! But at least there is a Subway next door too. XD

Like it isn't hard enough for me to get around to posting on my LJ when my computer is actually working.. then the fates decide to make it harder by having my tower struck by lightning.. then TM's laptop breaking.. well some already know this story but to summarize the last couple of weeks.. Tower dies in storm, TM's laptop dies, send said laptop to Toshiba for repair, they fix it quickly and send it back via the worst courier in the world (UPS) and I get a traffic ticket (running a stop sign) trying to catch up to the delivery driver that was supposed to meet me at his next stop.... well since that the laptop is screwed up again (the power port is faulty since they replaced the HD and dislodged something). Yeesh. And all our club stuff is on the desktop which makes preparing for MLA and Miso tedious as hell.. The only silver lining though is that this forced us to upgrade and Pocky is a saint for building and helping is order the parts for it. YAY! The only original hardware on this machine is gonna be the primary HD. The second one Russ installed for us for AMV editing (which it's full of fansubs right now LOL) Anyway.. we have a new processor, motherboard, power supply, fans and case on the way. Here is the tower:

http://snipurl.com/sgbs

It's a much higher end case than anything I've ever owned and Mauricio and I pretty happy with upgrading even though not happy with the means with which we ended up having to do it. This thing will be mighty cool.. It's gonna have 9 fans!! (Which I guess is good at the rate we download and are always pushing it with the editing and such.. )

Taking care of Gran has been a nightmare lately. She's combative and insulting.. she says the most hurtful things.. then she can't remember any of it later. I really broke down the other day and I could go into huge detail about here but.. I don't even want to think about it anymore. Needless to say she's like a different person who I don't know anymore and it's taking all my patience to get through this. ::deep breath:: but my Mom has absolutely no other help really from family so I'm all she has and I can't let her down.Honestly beyond that I'm at a loss for what to do with that situation.

Since I'm at the Docking Station paying for PC time I'll be brief.. Went bowling with friends Sunday night which was fun, went to IHOP afterwards and we were all very loud.. (Surprised we didn't get thrown out!) Julia wore a pancake on her head while there LOL! It was great to see her again! Had a migraine starting Monday afternoon and finally rid myself of it today.. Saw Superman Returns which was great! (see my comments in Mauricio and Nicole's journals for what I thought of it - FABULOUS!) and chilled the rest of the day with Beebs and Mauricio. Yesterday was crap actually.. Had that headache and had to cancel my hair appaointment (which I never allow myself).. plus waited around all day for details on a trip Beebs wanted to take to Pcola to see a close friend (Maya) who has moved to Cali but was back visiting. Some others were going too and Maya's BF Noah lied and told her that TM wasn't coming so not to bother showing up then told Robby and Mac that Maya wasn't coming and to tell TM she wasn't going (apparently so that the girls wouldn't come and "ruin" the outing for the guys). How low down can you get??!! What really pisses me off is that the whole reason for TM asking to go was to see Maya and then someone else screws it up for them because of his selfish reasons.. She was pretty upset and cried about it because she and Maya are best friends and they miss each other and then for that to happen. Not to mention it ruined our plans for the day all around. Anyway.. I babied her and spend time with her the rest of the day. We're trying to make arrangements for her to see Maya before she leaves town but who knows if it can happen now. She has plans the days of the weekend we are free so it may be moot now. How can people be so insensitive?

This weekend is Shoujo/Shounen night and I am trying desperately to get it together but with the PC broken it's tedious. I'm sure we'll get it together in time though. We always do! ^_^

Heading home now.. ja ne! ^_^

I need to keep up with this better than I do.. but at least it's not as bad as it used to be where there was only one entry every few months or so.

Let's see.. Well I went to the doctor for my Ultrasound last Tuesday. I was told to drink a lot of water before coming in because for some reason you have to have a full bladder in order for the tech to see anything in or around the uterus. ::shrug:: I dunno... I just do what they tell me.. or try to that is.. I was feeling queasy the morning of the test and couldn't keep anything, even water down. I don't know if it was nerves or what but I was nauseated. I tried and tried to drink but I was ill and then the car ride made it even worse. I lost all the water before we had left the house so then on the way I drank as much as I could and we ended up arriving 3 minutes late because I was slow getting out and into the building because of the way I was feeling. When I got there and signed in the tech was waiting by the front desk and saw my name on the sign in sheet. She said "ohh there you are! We thought you weren't coming!" she quicly took me back to a room where she told me to get on the table and pull my shirt up and my jeans down off my hips. She asked if my bladder was full and I replied "I hope so.. I've been trying to drink and I.." Then she cut me off and snapped saying "They gave you a piece of paper with instructions saying to drink at least an hour before your test didn't they?!" I was already nervous as I could be about all of this anyway and then to be in that vulnerable position with her being so rude and squirting KY Jelly on my abdomen and man handling me with this probe.. it was less than comfortable to say the least. She went on some more about how I should have been drinking the water and BLAH BLAH BLAH... I just tried to tune her out. Then I said "well I've been extremely nauseated this morning which was why I was a bit late and it made keeping the water down difficult" She clammed up at that point and pretty much didn't say anything else until she dug that probe in as hard as she could into the left side of my abdomen right above my pelvic bone. God! I thought I would come up off the table when she did that!! She asked me "Is the left side where you're having the most pain?" I tensed up and winced as tears streamed out of both my eyes that I was closing tightly at this point. Well what the fuck do you think?! that's what I wanted to say! I was stoic though. I didn't say a word about how much it hurt and managed to get through it but it seemed like she was having great fun digging that thing into my abdomen as a means to take out her aggravation with me.. Afterwards she said "okay you're done, the bathroom is out and to your right". Geez.. I've had ultrasounds before when I was pregnant with TM and normally the techs greet you in a friendly way and are at least decent. Mauricio was sitting there looking on awkwardly. He looked like he didn't know what to say. Afterwards I went to the bathroom where I broke down into tears. I did my best to collect myself and when I came out a nurse took us to an exam room to wait for the doctor. I was fuming I was so pissed!! Luckily, my doctor is great! I absolutely love her. I wanted to tell her what happened, but then I didn't want to start trouble either. I didn't want to come off sounding like a crybaby. It was humiliating and uncomfortable to be treated that way.. I sat and talked to Mauricio about it and got a bit calmer while waiting for Dr. Stella to come in. When she did get there she had wonderful news for me that heped to calm me down about what had just happened. It turns out that I don't have any tumors or fibroids or masses or anything! She said that the test showed nothing abnormal and that I have a healthy uterus and ovaries. I was so ecstatic! She said that my uterus did seem a little big (10 CM) but that was nornal since I have carried and delivered a child already and since TM was an 8 pound baby she said that makes sense. I was so glad to hear this! She knows that we want to have another child and she said that the main thing I need to work on is losing weight before trying to conceive. So my fears about the possible tumor was laid to rest. That felt wonderful!

On a completely different subject, I may be going to work for my Mom. She needs someone to take care of my Grandmother who is bed ridden BUT Gran refuses to let someone she doesn't know (a home health worker) come into her house. I have been helping out running errands and taking her lunch and stuff but Mom really needs someone there with her 8 hours a day. I told her I would feel bad taking money to take care of my Gran but she said (and this make sense) that I would be forfeiting going to a regular job for 8 hours a day and I have to make some sort of income somehow. It would be nice to have a job with family and to still be able to have TM homeschooling with me everyday.. and if I needed to leave for a Mary Kay appointment then I could break away for a bit and TM would still be there with Gran so she wouldn't be alone. It would be 8-4 everyday and I would make about the same as I was making at the Denton Foundation, plus whatever I make with MK. Right now my Mom is home with Gran since she had to quit her job in P'cola to be home with her. I would start working for her whenever mom finds something permanent here in Mobile. I think this would work out well. I'm hoping everything works out with this.. it kinda all hinges on when my Mom goes back to work.

...and on another note entirely.. finally I am working on another AMV. This time it's an action one and totally different from my Fushigi Yuugi/Sailormoon vid. It's a song most should be familiar with.. Overblast!! from DDR Max 2. So far it has about 21 different anime and the song itself is only 69 seconds long! It's very fast paced and I think it's coming along nicely. I hope folks will like it. It might actually be good for a round of "Name that Anime" at Miso. I just have to add the last few scenes and do my credits and it'll be good to go for this weekend. Nicole should know most of the anime in it since she and I watch quite a few of the same shows. (Your girl Karin is in it Nic!) ^_^
.....yeah so I hope everyone will like it.. 147 BPM and a whole truckload of guns, swords, magic and fighting!